Spike sat by the window feeling pleased with himself. Not only had he managed to hop over to the window, but also he had also opened it, lit a cigarette and was taking his first drag relishing in the feeling of the smoke filling his lungs.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Tara walked in.
“Bollocks!” he said as he stubbed it out on the windowsill. “Painting a wall, what does it look like?”
“It looks like you are trying to kill yourself in the slowest most painful way possible!” Tara replied.
“And here I was thinking that was your job, pet.” Spike mumbled to himself.
“I heard that, and if you are well enough to smoke out the window you are well enough to use your crutches to get to the gym today.” Tara picked them up and handed him them.
“I was hoping for another spin around… thought I could challenge one of the patients of ward five to a race.” Spike looked truly disappointed.
Tara shot him a look that already told him what her answer would be.
“You know, pet, I think you get off on torturing me.”
Spike could not help but smile as he placed the crutches under his arms. As much as he hated to admit it physio was becoming one of the highlights of his day. This in itself was not saying much when all he had to do was sit and watch either the TV or the walls. Neither of which seemed that appealing to him. Then he had an idea.
“Tara can you get someone to call Drusilla? I need my guitar.”
~
Once Spike and Tara had finally reached the gym they had settled into the session quickly. Spike was lying on the mats and Tara had his leg resting on her shoulder stretching it out.
“I kinda feel that this position is wasted on me,” she said as she pushed against Spike’s leg.
“What do you mean pet?” He asked trying not to show her how much pain she was putting him through.
“Well it’s just most of the female staff and a few of the male ones would kill to be in my position right now.” She placed the leg back down on the mat. “Now you try to lift it.”
Spike struggled as he tried to lift his good leg. It was not easy. Tara could see the struggle and offered a little help.
“Is that right luv? Don’t know what all the fuss is about. I’m just a guy with a broken leg.”
Tara could not help but laugh at that statement. Just a guy indeed… since admitting Spike into the hospital there had been reporters camped outside the place twenty-four/seven. In addition, she had lost count of the number of fans that had tried to pass themselves off as hospital staff just to give him a sponge bath.
“You can’t be serious ‘Mr Pin-up boy, I’ve been on the cover of Rolling Stone’. Voted hottest guy in rock three years in a row by Teen People. You have absolutely no idea why girls throw themselves at you?” Spike looked at her puzzled.
“You seem to know a lot about me for someone who is not interested pet.” He smirked.
“I’m gay, Spike, not blind. I know what you are to those women.” She took his foot and started to move it from side to side.
“It’s an illusion,” Spike answered quietly. “For all the rock star bravado I may seem to have some days I still feel like the ponce I was in high school.”
“Ponce? What do you mean?” she asked
“Nerd… I was a nerd. All floppy hair and glasses -- nose always in a book. My idea of a hot Saturday night was watching the History Channel.” Spike smiled at the memory.
“Must have been lonely for you?”
“You would think so, but no. I had friends… had a best friend. She and I did everything together. We knew we were not high on the social evolutionary scale, but we didn’t care, you know. We just did our own thing our own way.” Spike was losing himself to the memories.
“So what does this best friend think of your new look?” She looked at him; he seemed a million miles away.
“I don’t know… I suspect she’s not a fan. We don’t speak any more. I haven’t seen her in years.” Spike’s smile disappeared from his face.
“Why, what happened?”
Spike’s blue orbs turned cold, as he seemed to look right through Tara.
“I hurt the girl.”
~
Buffy stared down Drusilla. She may have taken Will away but dammed if she was going to take her strength as well.
“Didn’t you read the sign, ‘Doctors Only’?” Unless they have started giving away medical degrees on the back of Wheeties packets, I suggest you leave,” Buffy ground out.
“Tsk, tsk, Sunshine. No need to get catty. We all know what a lousy pussy you are.” Drusilla circled around Buffy. “At least that’s what my William told me.”
Buffy fought back the tears at the sound of Will’s name. “He was never your William, Dru! He was always mine!”
Drusilla stopped and looked Buffy straight in the eye.
“Lies don’t suit you Sunshine, so don’t even try to deny it. You never told him did you? You had him where you wanted him… in your arms, in your heart, in your bed, but you couldn’t keep him could you? All you had to do was say the words.” Drusilla watched for Buffy’s reaction.
Buffy looked away. She could not let this happen, not again. This women had come and snatched William away from her once before, she was not going to let her take her dignity as well.
“What bothers you more, Dru? That I had him first or that in the back of your mind you know he will never feel with you one tenth of what he felt in one night with me.” Buffy knew she was lying, but she did not care. She wanted Drusilla to pay.
“But who gets the last laugh, Sunshine? At least I know William loves me… he tells me everyday. Every time he kisses me, every time he fu….” A slap across the face cut her off.
“I suggest Ms. Simons that you leave before I call security because as much as you can keep me away from Will’s ward I can just as easily have you kept out of this hospital… permanently!” Buffy glared at Drusilla with all the determination she could muster.
Drusilla turned to leave.
“This isn’t over, Sunshine,” she called over her shoulder.
“I know,” Buffy said to herself. “Not by a long shot.”
*~*~*
Chapter 6: I Think I Know the Reason
William had been standing in front of the mirror for what seemed like a lifetime, but in reality was probably twenty minutes.
‘Glasses on? Glasses off?’ He thought to himself as he switched from one to the other.
He could not understand why he felt so churned up. Then he remembered. It was Friday. ‘D Day’… well it was probably more accurate to say ‘S Day’ as in today’s the day I have it.
Ever since the impromptu make out session in Buffy’s room a couple of days ago, the majority of his thoughts consumed by what was going to take place tonight. He and Buffy had not spoken much more about it. Except to set a time and place, oh, and decide who was going to buy the condoms.
William went over to his bag and checked for what seemed the umpteenth time. “Checkmate check.”
The time that was not spent planning the deed; William spent thinking about Buffy -- more specifically, what it felt like to kiss Buffy. It was as if his world had shifted onto a slightly different axis just from that one kiss. Everything to do with Buffy had suddenly come into sharper focus. Her smile somehow made him feel just that bit better, when she laughed he felt just that bit happier, slight touches sent shivers not only up his spine but also creeping into other areas of his anatomy as well.
~
Buffy checked the clock… thirty minutes until William would be there and she was already onto her fourth outfit change. The first one was too flirty, the second to daggy, the third too slutty. William might think she was throwing herself at him. Buffy laughed at the thought, because in reality she was not so much throwing but placing herself next to him. Her problem was she did not know how to dress for a date, let alone for what was essentially a booty call.
Buffy frowned at that thought. It was not exactly true. She was not going to be a booty call. She and William had done practically everything together; even a trip to the drug store to buy what William liked to call ‘lady products,’ which they swore never to mention ever again. She did not see why sex should be any different.
Sure, she wanted love and she wanted passion, but she also wanted acceptance, reassurance, respect and equality-- all the things that William gave her in spades. Anytime in her life, she needed strength and support William was there and losing one’s virginity was one of those times. Therefore, it made all the sense in the world to do it this way.
However, there was a nagging feeling in her heart that she wanted this for a whole heap of other reasons, none of which had to do with logic at all.
~
Spike looked at the flowers on his bedside table. ‘If I never see another bunch of flowers in my life, it will be too soon,’ he thought to himself as he rolled his eyes.
The four walls of his room were starting to drive him nuts. Where was that guitar he asked for? He needed some outlet for all this pent up stress.
The physio session with Tara had left him rattled. He never thought too much about his ‘William’ days. On one hand it seemed like it was three lifetimes ago he was studying relentlessly, the constant fodder for popular group teasing. On the other, it only seemed like a moment ago he was graduating.
Then there was Buffy. It seemed like only yesterday since he had seen her… spoken to her… heard her voice calling out to him. He closed his eyes and took himself back to that room, that day, to that moment when everything changed.
“See. I told you Captain Peroxide would be asleep!” The booming voice jolted him from his thoughts.
“Well if it isn’t tall dark and forehead.” Spike opened his eyes to see his bass player, Angel standing beside his girlfriend Faith, who just happened to be the band’s drummer as well.
“Hey Spike, was told you needed this.” Faith swung the guitar case up onto the bed narrowly missing his leg.
“Watch it Faith! One broken leg is enough for me at the moment!” He flinched as he moved to miss the flying case.
“So, how you holding up?” Angel asked as he moved to look at the growing collection of stuffed animals, flowers and cards around the hospital room.
“Fine. How about you guys?”
Faith moved to sit down beside the bed.
“We’re all fine… you took the worst of it I’m afraid. I was discharged from the ER the same night and Angel was just kept overnight. Weren’t you sweetie?”
Angel looked up from reading the get-well cards.
“Yeah. They thought I had concussion.”
“Don’t you need a brain to have one of those, mate?” Spike laughed as he asked the question.
“Very funny bleach boy. Dru says you’ve got another five weeks in here.” Angel looked around the room. “You’ll go crazy here before your leg heals.”
“I know… that’s why I asked for the guitar. I might as well use the down time to write a few new songs.” Angel moved to sit down next to Faith.
“Going to test them out on the nurses? See how many you can make swoon; see how many hearts you can break?”
“Not likely, mate. Dru has this place so stitched up you need military clearance just to get into the ward, let alone my room. It’s embarrassing! She acts like I’m some kind of mega star or something.”
“She just wants what’s best for you. The quicker you get back on your feet the faster we get back on tour and as our publicist, that’s what she wants.” Faith stood up to have a look around the room; she was never one to sit down for too long.
“I don’t know mate? She’s been extra possessive and that’s saying something for her… I just don’t understand why?”
Faith unhooked Spike’s chart to sneak a peek at the fun drugs he was on, she looked up from the chart and spoke.
“I think I know the reason.”
~
Buffy sighed as she knocked on the door. Dinner with friends was the last thing she felt like doing. However, she had cancelled on Willow twice now and she would be really stretching the friendship if she were to cancel again.
Besides, it was a good way to put this thing with Spike behind her. The confrontation with Drusilla left her pretty rattled. Willow knew all about the situation and knew better than to bring it up
The door opened to reveal Willow’s girlfriend, Tara.
“Hey Buffy! How are you doing?” Buffy leant forward and kissed Tara on the cheek.
“Good.” Buffy lied. “How about you? Haven’t seen you round the cafeteria lately?”
They both moved inside the door and into the lounge. Buffy sank down into the comfortable chair.
“Yeah, I have been flat out with my new star patient.” Tara offered Buffy some nuts.
“Really? That sucks. I must admit I have been flat out in the ER myself. So who’s your new patient?”
“Spike Giles.”
Buffy felt the colour drain from her face, she felt cursed. For some unknown reason, everywhere she went she had to hear or talk about Spike Giles.
“I know. Funny isn’t it?” Tara continued. “He’s not at all like you’d expect. He’s got this tough guy persona going on, but underneath it all he’s just a …”
“Softie.” Buffy finished the sentence for her.
“Well I was going to say sweetheart, but yeah, now you come to mention it you’re right. He has this softness to him that you can see in his eyes. He tries to hide it but behind the bad ass exterior lays a heart of gold, I suspect.”
“Indeed it does.” Buffy felt the tears well again in her eyes. Scolding herself on when was she going to get over this. She had shed too many pointless tears over a man who really did not exist any more. She knew what she had to do to make the tears stop, to heal the pain in her heart that seemed like it was never going away.
“So what did I miss?” Willow entered the room breaking her out of her thoughts. “Sorry there was an emergency at the magic shop and I had to call in to fix it.” Willow took one look at Buffy and knew something was not right.
“Are you okay, Buffy?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Buffy smiled. “Tara was just telling me about her star patient.”
“Really, sweetie? Who’s that?”
“Spike Giles.”
Willows eyes widened as she looked at Buffy again.
“Oh.” Realisation hit Willow. She took one look at Buffy and knew what she had to do.
“Tequila anyone?”
*~*~*
Chapter 7: Don’t You Think It’s Time
Spike hopped on one leg out of the shower, grateful that the nurses had finally let him have one, there was only so many sponge baths a person could take and still feel like a man. He wiped the fog from the bathroom mirror and stared at the reflection in front of him
His cuts and bruises were fading, aside from the scar that was forming across his eyebrow you would never know he had ever been in an accident. He ran his hands through his hair trying to get rid of the excess water. It was longer than usual. The curls he hated so much during high school were starting to reappear as his natural hair colour pushed its way through the peroxide.
‘It’s not like I can go to the hairdresser’s.’ He thought to himself as he dried the rest of his body. Once he was finished, he grabbed his crutches and made his way back to his bed.
“Hello, Dru.”
There she was sitting on his bed. His dark princess, his saviour. At least that is what she always told him. However, what did she save him from? That’s right… himself. Dru had seen the man he could be when everyone else saw the boy he was, the boy no one could love, not even her.
“My Spike, you look better today. Come sit.” Drusilla patted the bed. “What has my dark prince been up to?”
“You know the usual… ran a marathon, won the Noble prize for literature, oh yeah, and I cured cancer.” He sat on the bed next to her.
“I’m in the bloody hospital with a broken leg, Dru! What do you think I’ve been up to?” She snuggled up into his lap.
“I’ve missed you, my love,” she said as she started to slip her hand underneath his t-shirt. “I crave the darkness you know, it’s been so long since…” She started to lick and nip at his neck.
He caught her arm. “Dru.” He ground out as she kept up her actions. “I don’t fancy giving the nurses a free show.”
“Why not?” She pouted. “I’m sure we could teach them a few things.” As she looked into Spike’s eyes, she knew nothing was going to happen, so she sat back and straightened herself up.
“I spoke to your Doctor… he said you are doing really well with your rehab. You might even be out in a couple of weeks.” She got up off the bed and reached for her folder.
“That means we can start in Chicago and then go back and pick up the shows we missed at the end of the tour.”
He let out a sigh as he lay back down on the bed. That is what it was like with Dru, sex and business. If they were not doing one, they were doing the other. Not that he minded that much. The sex was amazing and the business had made him into what he was today. They had met in a bar while he was drowning his sorrows and that was the beginning of it all. He took her home that night. Well, Dru dragged him and he told her the directions. In addition, after that night he never looked back. William died that night and Spike was born.
~
Buffy sat at the nurses’ station up to her elbows in paper work. ‘When I signed on to be a doctor it was to save lives, not to spend endless hours doing paperwork.’ Still it had to be finished and it was better than performing the colonoscopy that was currently going on in Trauma 3.
“I’m looking for Dr. Summers?”
Buffy looked up to see a vaguely familiar brunette woman.
“I am she. How can I help you?” She stood to face the woman.
“I’m Faith… I’m the bassist from Dingoes Ate My Baby.” Faith held out her hand. “I believe you know our lead singer.”
She took the hand and shook it. “Yeah, I used to know Will. How can I help you? He’s alright, isn’t he?” She tried to keep the concern out of her voice.
“Blondie is fine. Just wanted to come down and see if you were?” Faith was still looking her up and down.
She suddenly became aware that the white doctor’s coat was not her best look.
“I’m fine, Faith. Unless you are injured or sick in someway, I don’t know how l can help you?” She turned to sit back down.
“You can help me by going to see Spike.” Buffy stared at her.
“Why would I do that? Even if I wanted to, his skanky-ho undead girlfriend wouldn’t let me come within ten feet of him.” She could feel the anger rising within her.
“So you’ve met Dru?”
“Once… no make that twice now.” Buffy flinched at both memories. “Look how do you even know who I am, let alone where I work?” She questioned.
“Checked Spike’s chart, wanted to see if he was on any fun drugs I could swipe.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Well that explains how you know where I work but not how you know who I am. I did not think Will… I mean Spike would ever mention me.” She tried not to sound as hurt as she really was.
“You spend as long as we have together you get to know a person. You grew up in Sunnydale right?”
Buffy’s eyes widened.
“Yes. How did you know that?” she asked.
“Every time we played a show there Spike would change. He would get nervous before the gig, which never happens. He would go off on his own for hours and come back either really angry or really drunk or really both.”
“So what does this have to do with me?” She was growing impatient and uncomfortable with where this conversation was heading.
“So one night we had enough of it and called him on it. Asked him what was going on, and he told us all about it. You, him with the nerdy clothes and passion for eighteenth century literature, how he loved you and broke your heart.”
“He never loved me! I know that… he never said?” Buffy’s head was swimming at the words.
“We have been on the road on and off for the last six years and every time, without fail, we stopped in Sunnydale and he would look for you. That’s why I’m here, to tell you that he needs to see you.”
“But what about Dru?” she questioned.
“What about her? The fact that she is keeping you from him should tell you everything. She’s threatened by you.”
“But why, why is he looking for me? He’s the one who left who …” Buffy held herself tighter.
“I don’t know why, but don’t you think it’s time you went and asked him?”
“Yes… I think it is.”
*~*~*
Chapter 8: My Favourite Sound
Buffy stood in her room staring at William, the reality of the situation starting to sink in.
“My mom is away for the weekend visiting my aunt so you don’t have to worry about keeping quiet during the throes of passion.” She babbled. “And I put clean sheets on the bed so….”
William could tell she was nervous, and so was he. He was about to experience one of life’s defining moments. He was going to make love for the first time. No he was not, he reminded himself. Not making love, having sex. They had been clear about that. This was not about love. It was about sharing an experience with a friend, someone you could trust. However, as he stood there looking at her, friendship was the last thing on his mind.
“Did you bring the things?” she asked.
“What things might that be, luv?”
Buffy rolled her eyes.
“I gave you one job, Will. Buy the things, so in nine months time I don’t have a baby.”
“Condoms?”
“Yes, the things.”
William could not help but laugh. Here they were about to be as intimate as two people could ever be and she could not even bring herself to say the word condom.
“Relax, luv.” He moved toward her, his gaze never leaving hers. He swept a loose tendril of hair behind her ear and let his hand rest against her cheek. In some ways that touch was more intimate than any they were about to experience. “I got you.” With that, he kissed her.
Buffy relaxed as William pressed his lips against hers. His lips felt so soft and warm; she craved his touch and wanted more. Her arms wrapped around his body pulling him towards her. Stronger feelings replaced her nervousness.
He felt himself pulled towards her and he held onto her as if she were the only thing that stood still as his mind spun out with so many thoughts and feelings. Her touch, he wanted more.
They broke from their kiss and he searched her eyes asking for the permission he so desperately wanted. She nodded ever so slightly. He slipped his hands under the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Once the shirt was off, what he saw before him made his breath catch in his throat.
Will knew he was staring but he could not help it. She took his hand and placed it on her breast. His eyes widened in shock as her body responded to his touch almost immediately.
“You’re beautiful,” he said as he moved to kiss her neck.
“Oh, Will,” she moaned.
In all his life, he knew he would never hear a sweeter sound than his name on her lips.
“Buffy.” He captured her lips with his own and kissed her. He took her in his arms and laid her on the bed.
As he made his way down between her breasts, Buffy’s mind was spinning. As much as she did not want the Mills and Boon moment here, she was half-naked and William was doing things with his mouth that she never knew existed. She was feeling things that she could not contemplate.
Will however, had no such problems as his fingers were on the buttons of her jeans. She pulled herself away from him
“Hang on a minute.” The look on Will’s face was a mixture of desire, desperation and dejection. “This isn’t going to turn into some kind of peep show where you get to see everything and I just get glimpses here and there.” She moved back to him and slipped his shirt off as well.
‘Well, that’s a surprise,’ she thought to herself as she stared at his nicely muscular chest. He was not Mr. Universe, but who wanted that, nor was he scrawny. He was in fact…
“Beautiful.”
Will looked at her.
“What? I can’t return the compliment?”
He began to make his way down her body, kissing everywhere he could. He dipped his tongue in her belly button and heard her giggle as he did. As he moved down to her zipper, he looked up at her.
She was torn. Whatever he was doing, he was doing well and she wanted him to keep going. What would he think of her if she let him? All such thoughts vanished as he unzipped her jeans, and took them off.
“Please,” was all she said as he slipped off her panties. Before she had a chance to process the words, he was gently lapping at her clit.
“Oh.” She felt the pleasure shoot through her whole body. “Will, yes.”
Her words of encouragement were all he needed. He may not have done this before, but there was a lot to be said about instinct. He increased his pace and in turn, her sighs of pleasure did the same. He slid one of his fingers into her.
“Oh God!” She lifted herself off the bed. “Don’t stop.”
“Wasn’t planning on it luv.”
“Then less talking and more ah...”
As he increased the pace, her walls tightened around him as she shouted her release.
“Will.”
He moved his way back up the bed and watched her as she came down from her orgasm, her golden hair surrounding her head like a halo. Her breasts rose and fell in time with her heavy breathing, her eyes heavy with desire. It hit him. It was as if all the information that he had stored in his brain about Buffy had all fallen into place. The pieces had all fit together and the outcome was… he was in love with Buffy Summers.
Buffy lay there looking at Will, why had she never noticed his arms before now; they were so muscular probably from carrying all those damn poetry books. And his lips. Who knew they were so skilful? However, it was his eyes; she could look into those for the rest of her life and never get bored. Their blue depths conveyed so much to her. She looked into them and it hit her like a ton of bricks. She was in love with William Giles.
~
Buffy checked her reflection in the staff room mirror. ‘Too much lip gloss?’ She was stalling and she knew it. Nevertheless, she also knew what she had to do. Faith’s visit had left more questions than it answered. Why did he tell his band he loved her? Surely when he told their story, it was more a cautionary tale than the greatest love story of all time. ‘Enough stalling.’ She walked to the lifts and pressed the up button. ‘It’s time to face your past so you can have a future.’
~
Spike lay in his bed. ‘How am I supposed to get better when they keep feeding me this slop?’ Maybe he could turn star and pull the ‘don’t you know who I am’ line. He laughed at the thought. He had seen so many so-called ‘stars’ pull that routine. It was more a case of “don’t you know who I think I am” and it almost never worked.
He was bored, episode one bored. He had read the paper from cover to cover and it seemed as though he had also read every book on the New York Times Best Seller list. A smoke -- that is what he needed. He sat up and pulled his legs to the side of the bed. He wiggled down to the end to help lift himself off when something caught his hand.
‘My chart… the one thing in this room I haven’t read.’ Spike was about to open it when he heard his favourite sound in the world.
“Hello, Will.”
*~*~*
Chapter 9: I Missed You
They laid there looking at each other for what seemed like hours, processing the thoughts and feelings that were suddenly awakened within them.
Buffy became aware of her state of undress and she felt a cold shiver run through her.“Are you cold luv?”
Her heart warmed at his words “luv” he had used it so often it barely registered anymore it was just another word but know somehow all his words took on new meanings to her.
“A little.” She looked down. “It's kinda what happens when you don’t have any clothes on” she went to move under the covers but Will stopped her.
“I’ll warm you.”
The kiss started slow their bodies moved together William could not believe how good Buffy’s skin felt under his touch. He wanted to have his hands everywhere at the same time and he was going he was doing a good job at it.
He was surprised when he felt her hand slip down the front of his pants. He stopped her.
“Buffy, what are you doing?” He wanted her to keep going but needed her to be sure.
“Well, unless you know a better way to do this, I am pretty sure these need to come off.” She gave him a look that pushed all reasonable thought out of his mind.
Will covered her body with his as she helped him out of his pants. , they started kissing again. She sought more friction against him. The more she sought the better she felt.
“Buffy, if you keep doing that I am going to finish before you start,” he moaned.
She looked up at him through hooded eyes.
“So start.” She thought she would be more hesitant, but she was certain she wanted Will to make love to her.
The air felt as though it was sucked from the room when Will stopped and got the condom out. ‘This is really going to happen,’ she thought. She looked into his eyes and knew that it was going to be all right.
He positioned himself at her opening and eased himself in.
She bit her lip as he entered her. She was expecting the pain but it still came as a bit of a shock as she started to stretch to accommodate his length.
He looked down at her, seeing the discomfort on her face. “Luv, I’m sorry. Do you want me to stop?”
“No. Just can you...Can you wait a sec?”
Although he was a teenage boy, William would have waited for her forever. All he wanted was to make her feel as good as he was.
“Will, you can start moving now.”
He started to gently thrust inside her, a slow rocking motion. He could feel her tightness squeezing his cock. He felt amazing, like he was going to jump out of his skin. He was not sure Buffy was enjoying herself until…
“Oh, Will!” Buffy felt her orgasm slowly building within her. His thrusts were less painful now that she had gotten used to his size. “More!”
Will was not sure what exactly to do; he was relying on instinct more than skill. He stopped his thrusts.
Her eyes snapped open. “I said more, Will, not sto…” Her words cut off as she felt his fingers circle her clitoris. “Oh, stopping is good!”
Will kept going as he felt her muscles tighten around him. He was so close; he wanted to make her come.
“Buffy, come for me, luv. I want to feel you all around me. My sweet Buffy, I wanna make you come so bad. Please baby, for me. For only me.”
“Oh, Will! Only you! Oh, you make me feel so good!”
Her orgasm ripped through her. She lifted off the bed as Will lost control and took his final thrusts as he came.
“Buffy luv, only you.” He fell on top of her gasping for breath.
She tapped him on the shoulder. “Will, I’m kinda finding it hard to breathe here.”
“Sorry, luv.” He rolled off her and onto his side. Quickly getting rid of the condom, he turned to face her.
“Well that was…” She searched for the words but her whole brain was scrambled. ‘No wonder all the slutty girls are dumb… you can’t think straight after sex.’ She smiled to herself as she looked into Will’s eyes. As she was caught in the intensity of his gaze she wanted to tell him that the plan had back fired she loved him. But she couldn’t she has set the rules of this agreement she couldn’t change them.
“Yeah, I know.” He looked at her all flushed and tousled hair; he wanted to take a photo to remind him that things could be perfect if only for a moment.
“I’m sleepy.” She stretched as a yawn slipped out.
“Here luv.” William opened his arms and pulled Buffy into his embrace.
“Thanks Will. You sure you don’t mind?” she hated the fact she was suddenly so unsure around him “I know that after sex snuggling was part of the deal”
Her words shook him ‘that’s right the plan’
“No I mean you will want to know what to do when the after sex snuggling happens for real right?”
“Yeah sure”
But as she moved into his arms and snuggled into sleep she couldn’t think of feeling anything more real than she did right now.
~
Spike put down the chart and looked at the door.
“Buffy?” He said her name aloud, as if to make sure what he was seeing was real.
She was real and standing in his hospital room. In some ways, she looked the same as that night so many lifetimes ago. Her hair was still golden, in a ponytail with her face framed by the same stubborn tendrils that refused to stay in place. He did not think it was possible, but she looked better than she did in the countless dreams he had over the years.
“Will,” she replied.
He looked better than the last time she saw him, not that that was a hard task considering that the last time she was saving his life. She saw part of the man he was now and part of the boy she loved. His hair was blonde, but the natural brown and the unruly curls were starting to show. In addition, his eyes -- in all the years that had gone by she had never seen another shade of blue that compared to his eyes.
“What are you doing here?” He finally found his voice.
She held up her stethoscope. “I work here; I don’t just wear the white coat because it’s slimming.”
“That explains why you are in the hospital, but why are you here in my room, pet?” Spike was trying hard to mask his true feelings.
“I wanted to see if you were getting better. I was worried.” She looked around the room taking in the rows of cards and flowers that decorated it. “Someone’s popular.”
“It’s kinda hard to keep a low profile me being a rock star and all.” Buffy looked into his eyes and saw someone so far from a rock star. For all the bravado and swagger, he would always be that shy boy who she had befriended all those years before.
She moved towards him. “You look like you’re healing well.” She reached out to touch his face.
Spike caught her hand and looked up into her eyes.
“I missed you.” He took her hand and kissed her palm. He tried to hide his feelings, but it was too hard. One look into her eyes and he was himself again, he was William.
“Will?” Buffy snatched her hand away. She was not going to do this again. He was not going to hurt her.
“Don’t… that’s not why I’m here. I just came to see if you were doing better and you are.”
“When did you see me?” Spike asked her.
“What?”
“You said you wanted to see if I was better. When did you see me, pet?” he asked her again.
“When you came in, I was the doctor who treated you.”
His eyes widened and then hardened as he relived the memory. “I called out to you.” He was not going to be a ponce about this. If this is how she wants to play it, then two could play this game.
“Yes, you did.” She looked into his eyes and could see the hurt within them.
“That’s just perfect, isn’t it? You see me lying on what could quite probably be my deathbed and it takes you two weeks to come and see if I’m ok? That’s the way it has to be with you. Everything has to be on Buffy’s terms.” He was angry now.
“That’s not true,” she pleaded.
“Isn’t it? Why now? What made you feel so compelled to see me after all this time?”
“I told you I wanted to see if you were ok. And to say stop looking for me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, luv. What makes you think you’re so special?”
“Not you that’s for sure.”
*~*~*
Chapter 10: Teenage Boy Cliché
Buffy and Spike stared at each other. He could see her anger rising and he smiled to himself. She still had that fire inside her that he loved so much. He stood up using the bed for support. All these years all he wanted was to be with her, near her and here he was being given this second chance.
‘Don’t be William’ he told himself ‘she never loved him. Spike all the girls love Spike’
He could do that. Spike Giles after all was voted “Hottest Guy in Rock” three years running. He summoned his inner rock star and made his move.
“Now come on, we both know that’s not true.” He slid his finger down her shoulder resting it on her belt buckle.
She looked into his eyes and suddenly she was seventeen again, standing in her room looking into the eyes of the man she loved. Their bodies were pulling toward each other like magnets. His lips -- she wondered if they still felt the same as they moved towards her own.
“Tell me luv. Has anyone else made you scream like I did? Made you feel like I did?” His lips were barely touching hers as he spoke.
He saw in his eyes desire, his blue orbs were darkened by it. Buffy suppressed a moan and closed her eyes and suddenly the memories hit her. She moved away from him.
“You’re right, Will. No one has made me feel like you did that night I went to your house and you were …” She looked away unable to look him in the eye. She took a deep breath and shook the memory from her mind.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were my friend. I trusted you. I thought you would not hurt me like all the rest. That’s the punch line to this joke, you know. If you had been a stranger, someone I did not care about, it would not have mattered, what you did, what I saw. It would not have hurt me like it did. Why Will? Why did you do it?” she asked as her tears were forming.
He had no answer. He had asked himself that question over and over again during the past 7 years. He was searching his brain for an answer as her voice snapped him from his thoughts.
“What do you think that night meant to me? A quick roll in the hay, a last hurrah before college?” she asked.
“Yes I do. That’s what you wanted. I didn’t force you to have sex with me Buffy. You asked me. None of this was my idea. You wanted me to help you out as a friend. So you weren’t the last American virgin. I was just a warm body you could practice on.” Spike was getting frustrated.
“Will, you know that’s not true. I gave you everything I had that night.” Her tears were replaced by anger now.
“No you didn’t.” He moved towards her. “You didn’t give me what I wanted.”
“What , What did you want Spike? Another go clock up a few more notches in the belt ?”
He grabbed hold of her arm partly for support and partly just to be close to her again.
Buffy shivered under his touch even after all these years her body still responded to his touch. She tried to look away but he caught her gaze.
“Buffy, that night all I wanted was to be with you for the rest of our lives. I lay there watching you sleep and planned it all out. Did you know that?”
She looked away.
“We would go to separate colleges for the first year and then I was going to transfer. After graduation, I was going to get a job as a journalist to help support you through medical school. “
“Don’t lie to me Spike not now, not after all these years I deserve more than that.”
“I’m not lying Buffy I wanted to stay, be with you I wanted to love you” Spikes voice was choked with emotion.
“Why didn’t you say so? Why did you…” She could not form the words as her tears started to spill.
“Because you hurt me, Buffy. I asked you if you loved me. You couldn’t answer.”
“I was confused! I had just made love for the first time. What did you expect -- for me to have the whole morning after etiquette down pat?” She stopped.
“You mean we had sex.” Spike questioned her. “You said we made love, but what we really did was have sex. Wasn’t that the plan? I was the practice run before the big race.” Spike sat back down on the bed dejected.
“Is that what you think happened? That I just had sex with you? Everything changed that night. I realised that ….”
She looked at him as much as she could to see the boy she loved sitting on the bed. The ache in her heart was so real that all she wanted to do was wrap herself in his arms and tell him. Tell him that no other man had made her feel like she had that night. How she wanted to be with him more than anything.
However, she could not forget the man he was now and what he had done to her that night. All the tears shed and unshed over his betrayal. She could give him her heart and he would just take it and rip it out all over again. He was not Will anymore; he was Spike Giles -- rock star.
She had made a vow never to let this happen. She was not here to declare her love; she was here to put a stop to it.
“What did you realise?” Hope welled up inside him as he waited to hear the words he had been dreaming of for so long.
“It doesn’t matter now does it? You know what? Even if I did love you, I’m glad I didn’t tell you.”
She wanted to hurt him with her words.
“I couldn’t believe it, you know. One taste of sex and you turn into every teenage boy cliché. I am surprised it only took you a week to bag another babe. Who knows, you probably had a couple in between. You had the taste for it.”
“It was a mistake. That night I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing.” Buffy rolled her eyes.
“As I said -- teenage boy cliché.”
“No, it wasn’t like that. We were not talking. I was going out of my mind missing you and she was there . . .” He looked down, closing his eyes and reliving the moment. “You’ve got to believe me. It was a mistake.”
“One you keep making to this very day.”
“What do you mean?” he questioned.
“How is Dru?”
